I'm kissing dating goodbye...

UPDATE 2/4/13
So here's what happen..lol...  I was talking with a couple of my mentors about this one year plan & they called me out on what I was really doing.  I know you are asking, "Mary what were you really doing?" Well I'm going to tell you...RUNNING!  Yes I was running.  See I struggle with feeling not good enough & by instituting this one year rule all I was trying to do was protect myself from being put in a situation where I wouldn't feel good enough.  Please continue to pray for me even though I am not on a dating hiatus because I have decided to stop being a chicken!







....for a year!  While baking today, I've been listening to Andy Stanley preach a series on dating, love & sex.  His main question is, "Are you the person, the person you are looking for is looking for?"  Ouch!  Lately I've been reading the book 48 Days to The Work You Love, one of the exercises in the book is to list every job & why you left.  That got me thinking about relationships as well.  What relationships have I participated in and why did they end.  For those of you who don't know me, my brain is constantly going.  One question or thought will lead to the other, and that will lead to another & another & another...I think you get the point!

So with the sermon series, the thinking of past relationships, an ex-boyfriend trying to reconnect with me, reading the book Boundaries in Dating, and a friendship that took a turn it shouldn't have.  I have had a lot on my mind!!!!  Regret, kicking myself for stupid decisions & words & actions, wondering why I seem to have Christian Guy Repellent, and something that two of my friends have said to me recently at separate times, "Is there something in these relationships that you are attracted to?"   At first I was like...No!  Why would I be attracted to drama, needy, and just down right exhausting relationships???? Why, who would do that???  Well the more I have thought about it I still don't have an answer, but what if they are right?

Pastor Andy Stanley suggests taking a year off of dating to work on being the person, the person I'm looking for is looking for.  One of the authors of Boundaries in Dating said that singles should look at a potential partner and think is this person worth giving up my amazing single life for?  I must say that I do enjoy my life, I have a great community of friends & I'm not sitting around all the time crying out to God, "Why am I single?!?!?"  I'm not downing pints & pints of ice cream watching chick flicks, feeling pathetic because I'm single. Sure, I do occasionally have moments of loneliness, but for the most part I'm good.  I do know that there are some areas in my life that need some work.  I've had to come face to face with some bad decisions I have made & I don't want to do those things again.  It is true that my sin & actions don't just affect me, they affect others...including my future husband!  Yuck!!!  Has God forgiven me YES!  However that doesn't get me out of dealing with the aftermath.

Please pray for me during this next year:

• That God will show me the areas I need to work on.
• That I won't allow a friendship to look like dating while trying to operate under the "friendship" umbrella.
• That I will have the strength to last a year.
• That I will learn to turn to God for comfort first!

Thank you so much for your assistance over this next year!!! To be honest I'm a little nervous to see what scenarios I will encounter!

Day 4 - Consider It

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds." James 1:2

Thought of the Day: Triumph in this choice will produce a blessing.

Today she pointed out that in today's verse we may not feel great joy in the middle of trials, but "we have to consider it."  It is a choice...period.  I will be honest in the middle of trials big or small I'm not always considering the joy.  I'm thinking what have I done to put myself in this situation?  What is God teaching me? How do I keep from get in this situation again?  How long will this last?  I do take comfort that whatever my trial or situation is, God wasn't surprised and He has a plan.  Good, better, best keeps running through my head!!!!  I want to have the self - control to make the better, best choice in any trial, not just with food.

Today's Prayer: Dear Lord, please help me when I feel tempted today.  Triumph in the this trial matters to me, and I desire to persevere with Your guidance.  Help me to consider the joy and choose the better option.  In Jesus' name. Amen.

Made to Crave Devotional

Day 3 - The Right Questions

So today is number 3 in the Made to Crave Devotional, and it is a doozy.

"Peter and the other apostles replied: 'We must obey God rather than human beings!" Acts 5:29

Thought of the Day: I must obey God rather than the scale!

Today's timing couldn't be better because today was the day I was planning on buying a scale.  I'm still going to do that possibly tomorrow, if I'm daring enough to go out shopping on Christmas Eve.  After reading today's pages, I have been given a healthier perspective.  Yes the scale can give me an idea of how much weight I have lost, but it doesn't give me value.

Lysa shared some questions that she found on Karen Ehman's Blog:

• Did I overeat this week on any day?
• Did I move more and exercise regularly?
• Did I eat in secret or out of anger or frustration?
• Did I feel that, at any time, I ran to food instead of to God?
• Before I hopped on the scale, did I think I'd had a successful week?

Thank you Karen!

Day 2 - What if I let God down?

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

In today's devotional she brought up that we can't separate the spiritual & the physical.  This is a truth that I know in my head, but it hasn't made it's way to my heart.  But it makes so much sense!  What I do to my body affects me spiritually and how I am spiritually affects me physically.  I am an image bearer of God & my body is His temple.  I need to keep these truths at the forefront of my mind!  I know that if these are my motivations & not just I want to fit into that dress again, then a healthier lifestyle can be a long lasting constant in my life.

A reader had written to her fearful that she could let God down.  At first I was scoffing at it, but then I realized I have that fear too.  Instead of using the words let down, I use disappointment & failure.  I am so very grateful that He loves us no matter what & forgives us & continues to give us chance after chance!!!

High Five Friday!

Hola Friday!  I'm linking up with Lauren for High Five Friday.  First a question, has your Facebook newsfeed caused you to sing R.E.M. all day??? No, just me...figures ;)

1.  Sunday night my church had a mortgage burning service, which was pretty groovy.  They gave an invitation for testimonies & I gave one.  It didn't seem so intimidating until the mic was in my hand and I was looking into a couple hundred faces!!!  I'm grateful and glad to say that God provided the words & none of my jokes got me in trouble...bonus!  Seriously though I serve an awesome God!

2.  A friend asked me to hang out & watch Fast Five...I love this series!!!  Every time I watch any Fast & Furious movie, it makes me wish I raced cars.  However the fact that my cars tend to attract other cars, makes me racing a very bad idea :(

3.  Look what UPS brought me!!!

4.  The Lord used a long car ride this week to speak some truth into my life!  I didn't want to go where I had to go.  I was annoyed that it was going to take soooooooooo long.  But no God had a purpose for that drive far beyond my physical destination!!!

5.  S.A.L.T. Movie Night @ my house!  We watched The Bourne Legacy, which was good, but I enjoyed the talking & hanging out before & after the movie best :D  They are a fun group!

Well that's all she wrote kids...good night!

Day 1 - Unsettle Me

The end of 2012 is quickly approaching & with that comes reflection of what I did with that time.  I see where I could have done more, grown more, read more, served more, pushed harder & of course could have wrangled my tongue more.  This year has brought quite a bit of loss, with the passing of my father.  That brings questions, would he be proud of my choices?  How would he have advised me to have handled this situation & that situation?  2012 has been a tough year & looking on the other side of it I see how the Lord has strengthened me through it.  However He has also shown some BRIGHT light on some areas of my life that need to be taken care of.

I'm the type that wants to fix everything at once, so I take on too much and quit shortly afterwards.  Albert Einstein, "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result."  Guilty!  I have decided to get off the insanity merry-go-round and try a different approach.

There have been some situations/relationships that God has convicted me about, that need to end/change.  I have severed one & am working on changing the other.  Of course I can't do that by myself (I have lone ranger tendencies), so I pray for help & guidance & healing and I have some sweet sisters that are holding me accountable as well.  Boundaries, this homegirl needs to not only create boundaries, but adhere to them!

Another area that God has shown me I need work in is the area of comfort as in, where do I turn for comfort instead of to Him?  One major place is food.  This is actually tricky because I'm not addicted to food & I'm not binging & purging, but there are times when I eat my feelings. No Buenos!  I want to be healthier & I want to be able to eat one brownie without wanting to eat twelve ;)

As I embark on this journey I have decided to start off with the Made to Crave Devotional 60 Days to craving God. Not Food.  I have also picked up the book as well, and I'm excited to get this started.  I'm using this blog as a way to keep me accountable for staying on track.

Day 1 - Unsettled

"Thought of the Day: Unsettle me in the best kind of way.  For when I allow Your touch to reach the deepest parts of me - dark and dingy and hidden away too long - suddenly, a fresh wind of life twists and twirls and dances through my soul."

I want to be unsettled, because I want to be the woman God wants me to be!  The "distractions or destructions" have to stop pulling my focus away from my Heavenly Father.  He loves us so much, that we can't comprehend it!  That is exciting & I am tired of living a safe existence insulated by fear & insecurity. Period.

High Five Friday!

I hope y'all are doing well!  I cannot believe that it is December 14th!!!!  

Okay with that said let's get started:

1.  Monday I FINALLY was able to spend some time with my girl Lacy!  I love this sweet friend of mine dearly.  We drank coffee at Broadway Cafe, surprised a friend & enjoyed some yummy lunch at Blanc.

2.  We started the Radical Bible Study by David Platt on Tuesday night.  I enjoyed the discussion that the questions stirred up.  I'm intrigued & excited to see how the next 5 weeks go.

3.  My December Birchbox arrived!!!!  I can't wait to try the olive eyeliner...

4.  Thursday night I had the privilege of celebrating Christmas with my buddies Chris & Ross.  Ross made us a yummy dinner, we exchanged gifts & watched Elf!!!  The boys did good let me tell you, because I have been longing for one of these for months...

They may have enjoyed my gift (Nerf guns) to them just a little bit ;)

5.  My Discipleship partner & I finally were able to meet!!! With the craziness of our schedules & it being the holidays, I was concerned we wouldn't meet again till next year...LOL!  Also tonight some of us got together & played Apples to Apples (one of few board games I actually enjoy) and Battle of the Sexes which gave me the opportunity to demonstrate my lack of Charades skills...

I hope you have a great weekend!!!