I'm kissing dating goodbye...

UPDATE 2/4/13
So here's what happen..lol...  I was talking with a couple of my mentors about this one year plan & they called me out on what I was really doing.  I know you are asking, "Mary what were you really doing?" Well I'm going to tell you...RUNNING!  Yes I was running.  See I struggle with feeling not good enough & by instituting this one year rule all I was trying to do was protect myself from being put in a situation where I wouldn't feel good enough.  Please continue to pray for me even though I am not on a dating hiatus because I have decided to stop being a chicken!







....for a year!  While baking today, I've been listening to Andy Stanley preach a series on dating, love & sex.  His main question is, "Are you the person, the person you are looking for is looking for?"  Ouch!  Lately I've been reading the book 48 Days to The Work You Love, one of the exercises in the book is to list every job & why you left.  That got me thinking about relationships as well.  What relationships have I participated in and why did they end.  For those of you who don't know me, my brain is constantly going.  One question or thought will lead to the other, and that will lead to another & another & another...I think you get the point!

So with the sermon series, the thinking of past relationships, an ex-boyfriend trying to reconnect with me, reading the book Boundaries in Dating, and a friendship that took a turn it shouldn't have.  I have had a lot on my mind!!!!  Regret, kicking myself for stupid decisions & words & actions, wondering why I seem to have Christian Guy Repellent, and something that two of my friends have said to me recently at separate times, "Is there something in these relationships that you are attracted to?"   At first I was like...No!  Why would I be attracted to drama, needy, and just down right exhausting relationships???? Why, who would do that???  Well the more I have thought about it I still don't have an answer, but what if they are right?

Pastor Andy Stanley suggests taking a year off of dating to work on being the person, the person I'm looking for is looking for.  One of the authors of Boundaries in Dating said that singles should look at a potential partner and think is this person worth giving up my amazing single life for?  I must say that I do enjoy my life, I have a great community of friends & I'm not sitting around all the time crying out to God, "Why am I single?!?!?"  I'm not downing pints & pints of ice cream watching chick flicks, feeling pathetic because I'm single. Sure, I do occasionally have moments of loneliness, but for the most part I'm good.  I do know that there are some areas in my life that need some work.  I've had to come face to face with some bad decisions I have made & I don't want to do those things again.  It is true that my sin & actions don't just affect me, they affect others...including my future husband!  Yuck!!!  Has God forgiven me YES!  However that doesn't get me out of dealing with the aftermath.

Please pray for me during this next year:

• That God will show me the areas I need to work on.
• That I won't allow a friendship to look like dating while trying to operate under the "friendship" umbrella.
• That I will have the strength to last a year.
• That I will learn to turn to God for comfort first!

Thank you so much for your assistance over this next year!!! To be honest I'm a little nervous to see what scenarios I will encounter!