Day 7 - Triggers

Here we are Day 7 of the Made to Crave Devotional:

"I pray that you...grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ...that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:17-19

Thought of the Day: The only way to negate an emotional eating trigger is to match it with truth.

Last night I was talking with some friends about this devo & how I have been intentional about when I eat.  Asking myself am I really hungry or is there something else going on?  What surprised me was it was the husband who admitted to having times of emotional eating, the wife doesn't eat when stressed.  I don't know why I've assumed that this is more of a woman thing than a man thing.  A male example of food as love & support just came to mind, Joe Gargery would give Pip more & more gravy after his wife's verbal attacks on the young orphan in Great Expectations. 

Kind of off course of what I was planning on blogging about...I'm sitting here thinking about my relationship with food and it brought to mind memories of my childhood when I lived with my mom.

• She would brag about how much I could eat.  Some of the guys that she dated would take me out to eat with them just to see if this little girl could really eat adult portions.  This was one of the ways I was taught that love is performance based...I know now that shouldn't be the case, but that took a long time to learn that lesson.
• When I was stressed as a teen I wouldn't eat, it was consciously done, and sometimes I would be too busy at work & forget to eat.  I remember a manager pulling me aside & said that he and my co-workers were worried that I was anorexic & they were going to call my dad if I didn't start eating.  I was shocked!
• When my mom died & dad was driving us out to the funeral we stopped at a truck stop to eat.   I wasn't hungry & he got upset with me about not eating and told me couldn't leave until I ate more of my dinner.  I was 18...lol.  But that became an issue between my dad & I until he died.  He would get suspicious if I wasn't eating & demand that I eat.
• When my dad died, everyone was like "Eat!" or "Please eat something." or "You need the strength, eat."  The problem was I couldn't, I would take & a bit and my body wouldn't let me swallow.  I literally had to force some food down.  Even then it was a few bites.  The moment I remember being able to eat was after my dad's visitation & my friend was driving me home and I was SO angry, because of family drama.  We stopped at Chick-Fil-A and I was able to eat a whole chicken sandwich.  Which I paid for later (you get what I'm saying).

I guess I've had a bigger issue with food than I originally thought.  Wow, I'm really grateful for this devotional!  I'm going to be turning this over in my head, probably for the rest of the day!

Day 6 - It's All in The Family

Hello Made to Crave Devotional: Day 6!

"The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children." Romans 8:16

Thought of the Day: We are only one good choice away from being back on the path of perseverance.  But no matter how far off the path or how long we have been on it, God is patient with us and loves us as a dearly beloved child - part of His family.

It amazes me how God puts things together.  Every day I have been reading the Jesus Calling Devotional & the Made to Crave Devotional, today they both supplied several scriptures regarding God's love for us!  I didn't even know how much I need to read those today.  I didn't have to fight food cravings on Christmas & Christmas Eve, as a matter of fact I did really well with food choices, portions & knowing when I was full!!! I did have to combat an ache in my heart & loneliness.  Even as I type this tears are coming to my eyes, because I miss my dad immensely.  On Christmas Eve my aunt wanted to take a couple of pictures & it just didn't feel right without him and my grannie there.  I knew the holidays would be hard this year, but they were harder than I thought they would be.  The funny thing about the loneliness is when that feeling has come on this holiday season I have wanted to retreat & be by myself.  I've had to force myself to get out of bed & get ready & go spend that time with family & friends.

I'm grateful for His love!  This past week I have been praying & asking the Lord for Him to fill the ache in my heart  & that I wouldn't turn to other sources of comfort.

Day 5 - Blessings Ahead

Merry Christmas!  Today is Day 5 of the Made to Crave Devotional:

"You know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work." James 1:3-4a

Thought of the Day:  Between any trial and the blessing that comes from that trial, there is a pathway I must walk - that pathway is perseverance.

P-e-r-s-e-v-e-r-a-n-c-e.  Mr. Webster defines perseverance: continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failures or opposition.  I want to have the kind of perseverance to continue running the race of following God no matter what opposition I encounter.  I do truly want that, but I sit here smirking at myself & how many times I have tried the quick fix or a short cut.  I'm not talking just about diet & exercise, I can see this approach in many aspects of my life.  YUCK!  I'm grateful that my Heavenly Father is longsuffering & loves me despite Him knowing my every thought, word, action & motivation!

I'm kissing dating goodbye...

UPDATE 2/4/13
So here's what happen..lol...  I was talking with a couple of my mentors about this one year plan & they called me out on what I was really doing.  I know you are asking, "Mary what were you really doing?" Well I'm going to tell you...RUNNING!  Yes I was running.  See I struggle with feeling not good enough & by instituting this one year rule all I was trying to do was protect myself from being put in a situation where I wouldn't feel good enough.  Please continue to pray for me even though I am not on a dating hiatus because I have decided to stop being a chicken!







....for a year!  While baking today, I've been listening to Andy Stanley preach a series on dating, love & sex.  His main question is, "Are you the person, the person you are looking for is looking for?"  Ouch!  Lately I've been reading the book 48 Days to The Work You Love, one of the exercises in the book is to list every job & why you left.  That got me thinking about relationships as well.  What relationships have I participated in and why did they end.  For those of you who don't know me, my brain is constantly going.  One question or thought will lead to the other, and that will lead to another & another & another...I think you get the point!

So with the sermon series, the thinking of past relationships, an ex-boyfriend trying to reconnect with me, reading the book Boundaries in Dating, and a friendship that took a turn it shouldn't have.  I have had a lot on my mind!!!!  Regret, kicking myself for stupid decisions & words & actions, wondering why I seem to have Christian Guy Repellent, and something that two of my friends have said to me recently at separate times, "Is there something in these relationships that you are attracted to?"   At first I was like...No!  Why would I be attracted to drama, needy, and just down right exhausting relationships???? Why, who would do that???  Well the more I have thought about it I still don't have an answer, but what if they are right?

Pastor Andy Stanley suggests taking a year off of dating to work on being the person, the person I'm looking for is looking for.  One of the authors of Boundaries in Dating said that singles should look at a potential partner and think is this person worth giving up my amazing single life for?  I must say that I do enjoy my life, I have a great community of friends & I'm not sitting around all the time crying out to God, "Why am I single?!?!?"  I'm not downing pints & pints of ice cream watching chick flicks, feeling pathetic because I'm single. Sure, I do occasionally have moments of loneliness, but for the most part I'm good.  I do know that there are some areas in my life that need some work.  I've had to come face to face with some bad decisions I have made & I don't want to do those things again.  It is true that my sin & actions don't just affect me, they affect others...including my future husband!  Yuck!!!  Has God forgiven me YES!  However that doesn't get me out of dealing with the aftermath.

Please pray for me during this next year:

• That God will show me the areas I need to work on.
• That I won't allow a friendship to look like dating while trying to operate under the "friendship" umbrella.
• That I will have the strength to last a year.
• That I will learn to turn to God for comfort first!

Thank you so much for your assistance over this next year!!! To be honest I'm a little nervous to see what scenarios I will encounter!

Day 4 - Consider It

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds." James 1:2

Thought of the Day: Triumph in this choice will produce a blessing.

Today she pointed out that in today's verse we may not feel great joy in the middle of trials, but "we have to consider it."  It is a choice...period.  I will be honest in the middle of trials big or small I'm not always considering the joy.  I'm thinking what have I done to put myself in this situation?  What is God teaching me? How do I keep from get in this situation again?  How long will this last?  I do take comfort that whatever my trial or situation is, God wasn't surprised and He has a plan.  Good, better, best keeps running through my head!!!!  I want to have the self - control to make the better, best choice in any trial, not just with food.

Today's Prayer: Dear Lord, please help me when I feel tempted today.  Triumph in the this trial matters to me, and I desire to persevere with Your guidance.  Help me to consider the joy and choose the better option.  In Jesus' name. Amen.

Made to Crave Devotional

Day 3 - The Right Questions

So today is number 3 in the Made to Crave Devotional, and it is a doozy.

"Peter and the other apostles replied: 'We must obey God rather than human beings!" Acts 5:29

Thought of the Day: I must obey God rather than the scale!

Today's timing couldn't be better because today was the day I was planning on buying a scale.  I'm still going to do that possibly tomorrow, if I'm daring enough to go out shopping on Christmas Eve.  After reading today's pages, I have been given a healthier perspective.  Yes the scale can give me an idea of how much weight I have lost, but it doesn't give me value.

Lysa shared some questions that she found on Karen Ehman's Blog:

• Did I overeat this week on any day?
• Did I move more and exercise regularly?
• Did I eat in secret or out of anger or frustration?
• Did I feel that, at any time, I ran to food instead of to God?
• Before I hopped on the scale, did I think I'd had a successful week?

Thank you Karen!

Day 2 - What if I let God down?

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

In today's devotional she brought up that we can't separate the spiritual & the physical.  This is a truth that I know in my head, but it hasn't made it's way to my heart.  But it makes so much sense!  What I do to my body affects me spiritually and how I am spiritually affects me physically.  I am an image bearer of God & my body is His temple.  I need to keep these truths at the forefront of my mind!  I know that if these are my motivations & not just I want to fit into that dress again, then a healthier lifestyle can be a long lasting constant in my life.

A reader had written to her fearful that she could let God down.  At first I was scoffing at it, but then I realized I have that fear too.  Instead of using the words let down, I use disappointment & failure.  I am so very grateful that He loves us no matter what & forgives us & continues to give us chance after chance!!!