Day 29 - Conformed or Transformed

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."
Romans 12:2a

Thought for the Day:  I knew I couldn't be transformed unless I refused to conform.

I struggled for the longest time with being me.  Wanting to dress more sophisticated, trying to dial back my personality, to be honest I really longed to be wall paper...not wanting to be noticed or stand out.  I still will catch myself looking at my feet when I walk sometimes hoping people don't see me.  What woke me up to this battle going on inside me was a conversation with a friend.  I had made the comment that I enjoyed hanging out with so & so because I could just be me.  My friend responded with something to the effect of she thought I should be me all the time.  I really mulled that over, why did I feel like I couldn't be me?  The really tough question: Who am I?  I had been trying to conform & fit into a mold that obviously wasn't made for me that I really  had to take pause & think about my likes & dislikes.  If you have seen the movie Runaway Bride, the main character is forced to face the fact that she is scared and is told by Richard Gere, "You are so scared. You don't even know what kind of eyes you like!"  She later in the movie with the help of her grandmother tries all sorts of egg preparations to find out that she loves Eggs Benedict...yummy.  Sorry back to the post :)  I have had some amazing friends that have encouraged me to be me in style, personality & sense of humor.  Thank you!  I can't explain the way it felt to have the burden of trying to fit into that mold lifted.  I want/desire/long to be the woman God wants me to be!  I don't want to miss out on what He has for me & how He wants to use me.  In order to do that I have to be, well...me!  Funny how that works ;)

I have enjoyed the Made to Crave Devotional, I know that the author is writing about our relationship with food, but I have seen it shed light on all sorts of other areas of my life.